Remember

As I was putting the kids down to bed and doing our normal bedtime routine (baths, brush teeth, read books, tuck in, kisses and snuggles) my very inquisitive seven-year-old asked why do we have to get older. I tried explaining to him that's how life goes. You go from being this miraculous little human being to becoming a perfectly imperfect adult. As I leaned in to kiss him goodnight on the forehead a flood of emotions overcame me. Has that ever happened to you? I literally could feel little drops of tears begin to pool inside my eyes. I left his bedroom and found my self standing in the hallway between the two of their rooms. I started to remember the feeling I had the first time we brought Cayden home from the hospital, his first steps, how little he looked in a child's size hospital gown looking up at the both of us as he was wheeled into surgery and all the other life moments in between. I then take a peak into Emma's room where she sleeps peacefully and remember all the things that make her who she is. How one little person can cause so much love and frustration in the same moment, how she loves to know end, and how we couldn't imagine our lives without her even though she has only been apart of this family for two years and yet it feels like she always has.

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself to remember these moments. The daily mundane things that can seem so overwhelming and frustrating at times, but at the same time make me feel whole. It's easy to get caught up the craziness of life and feel like you are on a never ending merry-go-round. There are definitely days where I fall to the couch in desperate need of peace and quiet, thinking to myself how glad I am that this day is over. That's when I need to stop and remind myself to remember this moment. It won't always be like this. Soon Cayden and Emma won't need me to cut the crust of their sandwiches, help them get dressed and tie their shoes or play endless rounds of clue and dollies. Each day they become more self reliant. I see subtle changes in the way Cayden makes his own breakfast and Emma puts on her shoes by herself. I know that this is what they are supposed to be doing, becoming independent little people. It doesn't make it any easier though. Again, I remind my self to remember these moments. Oh, how I do cherish this time I get to share with them and be the center of their world if only for a moment.