When I was younger I had my life planned. I would graduate high school, go to college, start my career, find my soul mate, get married at twenty-eight, have two children (preferably a boy and a girl) and live happily ever after.
For the most part my life went as planned. I married my best friend, we have two beautiful children - a boy and a girl and we are extremely happy. The problem is it didn't happen the way I had always envisioned.
After, I graduated high school I attended Arizona State University. College life felt like freedom - being able to pick what time to go to class, living on my own and having a real "adult" relationship. Little did I know that soon after my freshman year of college my life would change forever.
I was twenty years old the day my doctor told me I was pregnant. To say I was in shock is a complete understatement. I was a horrible wreck. How could this happen? Obviously, I know how babies are made, but I took the necessary precautions, I was careful. Not careful enough I guess. So, many thoughts were racing through my head in that moment sitting on the edge of the table, in the doctor's room. I am too young to be a mom...I still have three years of school left... I'm not married... I don't even know if this is the person I want to spend forever with.
I decided to keep the baby. That was the only thing I knew with certainty. I took a semester off of school to have my wonderful son and went back in the fall. I was working full time, going to school full time and being a full time mother. It was exhausting. On top of everything else both my family and my boyfriend's, at the time, were pressuring us to get married. I remember thinking I can't get married. I am not ready. It didn't feel right. So, I broke up with my boyfriend and became a single mother. Not at all what I had pictured my life to be.
Soon after my breakup I met this truly amazing man. He was funny, sweet, caring, loving and an all around awesome person to be around. The moment we met I knew he was my soul mate, but how do you begin forever with someone when there is another person involved? I came with a plus one and he had to love both of us for this relationship to work.
Paul is the most wonderful dad to my son. He loves him like his own and has never treated him differently. It truly is the most amazing thing to witness. It takes someone extra special to love your child like their own.
Of course, the story goes, I married Paul, my best friend, and we had a beautiful baby girl together. Our family of four was complete. I have everything I ever wanted. Yet I keep going back to when I was younger and the plans I had for myself.
I still don't have a college degree, my career is non-existent and although I found my soul mate and have a beautiful family I did it all real fast and so young. I am only twenty-nine and have had real adult responsibilities while most of my friends were still partying and drinking every weekend.
It's so easy to look at your life and think I am not where I thought I would be or should be. I feel like I have failed myself all the time. The truth is life is unpredictable with a lot of road bumps along the way. I really believe that everything happens for a reason and its those life experiences that shape you into the person you are today.
So, do my plans for my adult self match up to my reality today? Not exactly, but I couldn't have imagined a more authentic or perfect life for myself than I have right now.
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